Dark Clouds

Usually I see the world around me as a bright, cheerful, fun place. A place I learn from, I place I teach in, a place I love. Lately, the clouds hanging over have changed that view. I can't explain why, that is what I am trying to figure out, hence the beginning of my blog.
I decided yesterday to give up my cat. She is 6 and a half years old and I have had her since she was 6 weeks old. Why am I 'surrendering' her to the SPCA? Because she HATES to be alone. How do I know this? Because when she is, she decides the world is her bathroom. I have to keep her kenneled/caged/or locked in a bathroom or bedroom, this is no life for her or for me and my husband. So, finally, after debating for years, I am going to give her up and it kills me. I am the kind of person who would rescue every animal in a shelter, if I could afford it, so putting one in there goes against all I believe, but it has to be done. I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop crying about it, it breaks my heart. That is just the beginning.

Song in my head: "Unwell" by Matchbox 20 and "Happy Birthday" for my wonderful Husband on his 29th birthday